If you’re under the age of 30, you’ve probably resigned yourself to the very real possibility that you will never own a home. *Sigh* But one 28-year-old woman has defied the odds thanks to her very generous in-laws. She is quickly learning, though, that what might have seemed like a dream scenario is actually a pretty precarious one.
This woman explained on the “Am I The A—hole? (AITA)” subreddit that she and her 29-year-old wife were lucky enough to receive “major help” from her in-laws when buying their first house. As a wedding present, the mother- and father-in-law paid half of the down payment for the place, which is just 15 minutes from their own house.
“[My wife’s] parents are very well off and both make over 250k each a year,” the woman who originally posted (the “OP”) admitted. “They do not have to continue to work but they often travel for a good 8 weeks of the year and in general want to continue to work for a few more years to support their lifestyle. My parents however live a more modest life. They can pay for what they need and a lot of what they want and own a house in a small rural area.”
A Growing Family
OP and her wife are expecting their first baby in May. If you — like the internet busybodies — were wondering, OP is pregnant. “I did not feel the need to mention that but it seems to influence a lot of people’s opinion based on who is the carrier.”
We’ll spare you the monologue and just angrily ask, “WTAF?!”
The parents-to-be have started to discuss childcare options and have learned that daycare in their area could cost them almost $2 thousand per month. Luckily, OP’s mom offered to watch the baby once they run out of maternity leave when the baby is around 10 or 11 months old. Realistically, this is all a 2025 problem, but we love some proactive parents!
AITA for letting my parents move into a house my in laws paid for?
byu/Sudden_Inspector7763 inAmItheAsshole
OP’s mom and dad live two hours away, so she offered them the bedroom and bathroom in their finished basem*nt. Incredibly, her dad would have an even shorter commute from this house than he does now.
“So in this idea, my parents would live with us while my mother provides free child care,” OP explained. “This would save us a lot of money and ensure that they have an active role in their grandchild’s life.”
The In-Laws’ Reaction
When OP and her wife told her in-laws about the plan, it was “awkward.” They told their daughter they “aren’t comfortable” with OP’s parents living there for free when they were the ones to “pay for” [a portion of] the house.
“She said that they offered to help pay for childcare if that was an issue,” OP said.
Wow, so this runs deep enough that they’re willing to fork over thousands of dollars for childcare rather than let the other grandparents live there?!
“I feel as if they don’t get to have a say in what we do with our house considering it was a gift,” OP said. “We are very thankful of course, but I don’t think we owe it to them to not let my parents stay with us.”
And so she wants to know, are she and her wife the a—holes for potentially letting her parents move in?
Reddit’s Reaction
Redditors are getting tangled up in all the strings that were apparently attached to this gift. There are those who say, “DUH!” it came with strings! And those who think these in-laws are incredibly wrong and manipulative.
“Honestly, if the in-laws do sh*tty stuff like that (have ‘hidden strings’ for their gift), OP and her wife shouldn’t worry about losing contact with them for good. Morally, you don’t give someone a giftTHENreveal hidden strings later. That’s just totally sh*tty behavior.”
“Strings attached means that they are stated ahead of time. Otherwise the in-laws will hold this over their daughter’s and OP’s head anytime they dislike something.”
Redditors want to remind the in-laws that they didn’t buy the house. They gifted part of the down payment, which was incredibly generous, but not the same thing as owning the home. Do they expect to have control over every decision? If OP and her wife want to renovate the kitchen, does that have to be cleared by the in-laws? Did the in-laws give permission for a baby to be living there for free?
And let’s not forget, this isn’t for free if the grandma-to-be is going to be a full-time childcare provider! Saving the parents and the in-laws thousands of dollars.
“Also, OP said her wife was entirely on board with the idea, is very close to OP’s mother, and was very involved with coming up with the plan until her parents weighed in. [They] have a track record of offering to pay for things and [later] revealing that the offer came with strings attached. Sounds to me like meddling, controlling in-laws.”
Then came the conversation of the wife. Was she actually on board? Redditors find that hard to believe.
“[Were the wife’s] parents a convenient bad guy? The reality is if her in-laws move in they aren’t likely moving out. Most couples don’t want to live with their IL for decades.”
“I can’t really blame OP’s wife either, I would not be OK with moving my partner’s parents in before I even hit the age of 30, especially when there is an alternative option for child care.”
So now what? OP and her wife can fork over the tens of thousands of dollars. They can accept the child care money from the in-laws (and the undoubted strings), or, as Reddit says, “OP can either wreck their relationship with their wife and lose their house, not have their parents move in, or give the house back and live elsewhere.”
“That’s what I would do,” that Redditor admitted.
Before you go, check out some of Reddit’s wildest baby name dilemmas.
